STOP NOW & START LISTENING!
Let me celebrate another full year of life! No, May 23rd is not my birthday, but it feels kinda like it… and so I feel like telling a story.
Last year, around 9:30 am I had a Transient Ischemic Attack (TIA) or for what’s better known a Mini-Stroke. Yes! It is possible at my age. And believe me, I’ve never felt more scared in my life.
On my way to work, I felt like an electric shock on the top part of my neck (on the left side).
It was very very painful, but even when my husband insisted to go to a hospital because “that wasn’t normal” I told him that “it would pass” because I kinda had those “brain cramps” before. However, this time was much worst, as I stop feeling the left side of my body: leg, arm, and face. Everything was numbed, I couldn’t put any thought together and speaking was almost impossible.
Soon after getting to the office was the moment I realized what was happening to me. I was lost in my thoughts for about fifteen minutes. So I called my mom and hubby and we rushed to the nearest hospital, where countless doctors and nurses jumped to help me out and ran many tests, including a physical exam, an MRI and a CT scan… while everything was happening all we heard were doctors arguing about why someone my age “just had a brain stroke”.
Wow. It’s that even possible at my age?
Still the day I don’t have an answer to that question, but the only thing I know is that I should have listened to my body better. I was having headaches and migraines for longer than a month, every single day, non-stop. I was taking Advil and Tylenol as crazy, I was stressed and working approx. 13h to 15h every day. But because I’ve always suffered from headaches, I did not pay attention. I only focused on working and left myself aside.
What a mistake!
I can’t blame work. I can’t blame my inherited headache condition. I can’t blame myself.
I only wish I had listened to my body better, so even if I could’ve not saved myself from that painful attack, I could’ve maybe saved myself and my family from the painful hustle.
A hustle that not only ruined the day but a little bit of myself too. The recovery has been long and painful. And even though I recovered the full mobility of my body and everything seems under control, I went through a really dark path… one I’m still trying to overpass.
I had to fight goths I have never met before: extreme anxiety, real depression, unexpected mood changes, guilt, low self-esteem and loss of confidence. All this, while seeing my family worried about me.
It has been a year... I haven’t recovered 100%, I haven’t really been myself, and I don’t know if I’ll ever be me again. But I don’t care, I’m starting to like this new me. I just see everything that happened as a new chance to really be me!
… to be continue.